“I lost a baby and my co-worker got angry when I wouldn’t hold her grandchild”
One woman gets honest
Content Editor / February 19 2019
Losing a child is one of the worst things that can happen to you, so it’s understandable if a parent who has been through that doesn’t want to be around – let alone hold – someone else’s child.
One woman took to Reddit to ask if she was being unreasonable to not want to hold other people’s children, particularly after a co-worker got annoyed with her about it.
“Since I lost my baby last year I just don't have any interest in them any more,” she wrote. “It’s all just one big reminder of what I lost and can't have.
“One of my coworkers has several grandchildren who constantly stop by the office with her kids. One of them has a baby.
“This coworker will parade the grandkids around and shove the baby into my arms. Well today I just wasn't in the mood to deal with it. I told her I didn't want to hold him.
“She refused to take him back, so I set him on the floor. He can walk now so it’s not like I just put an infant down on the ground. I set him down on his feet and he waddled off perfectly fine,” she explained.
Her coworker was really angry about it and told her she was “out of line” for setting the kid down.
“Am I the a**hole here?” the poster asked.
People overwhelmingly sided with the woman, saying she shouldn’t have been put in that position.
“People need to get over the fact that not everyone loves babies, especially when you make yourself clear that you don't want to hold them,” wrote one.
“It is unreasonable to force a baby on anyone who isn't that baby's caretaker in some official capacity. Even if you didn't have such a heartbreaking reason (and I am sorry for your loss), you should not be forced to hold a baby if you don't want to,” added another.
“I’m so sorry for your loss. Even if you weren’t in that situation though, you shouldn’t have to hold anyone’s kids if you’re not comfortable with it,” added a third.
“It might be worth letting your coworker in on how you’re feeling though, so she can be more sensitive. Or just tell her you don’t like kids, and just walk away when approached with an armful.”
Nicola Conville has worked as a journalist and editor for more than 20 years across a wide range of print and online publications. Her areas of expertise are parenting, health and travel. She has two children; Lucy, age eight, and Nathan, age five.