Working hard to get pregnant? Chances are you and your partner have everything planned down to the last tiny detail. But taking a somewhat rigid, scientific approach to sex can take all the fun out of it, and the added pressure can make it all seem like a lot of hard work – which can end up being counterproductive. Here are some great tips for making sure the spark’s still there, while boosting your chances of conceiving:
If both of you are fit, healthy and feeling good, you're more likely to initiate and enjoy regular sex. Have a chat with your GP and get treatment for anything that might inhibit conception, such as infections or vitamin deficiencies. And eating well can make you feel good and give you more energy!
High stress levels may reduce your chances of falling pregnant, and common coping mechanisms such as smoking and drinking too many cups of coffee or glasses of alcohol can affect fertility levels, too.
Try to identify what's stressing you to see if you can eliminate or minimise the problem. If not, find alternative ways of managing your stress. Exercising and talking things through with your partner are great ways to start. The closeness that comes from emotional sharing and spending time together is good foreplay!
Clear the air
Emotional disconnection can cause the spirit of conception to be lost and frustration and resentment kill passion and desire. Talk things through and work towards solutions as a team – this will help you bond as a couple and is great practice for the family life that lies ahead.
Don't focus on sex
Celebrate your relationship instead. Spend time doing things you both enjoy and that bring out the best in each other. Think romantic evenings, adventure weekends, spontaneous activities or even just indulging in fantasies and whims. This way, enjoyable lovemaking will be more a natural progression of the day than a scheduled event on the calendar.
Go with the flow
Women tend to feel most aroused around the time of ovulation, and of course this is when conception happens. If you have sex less often at other times of the month, you may look forward more to making love during this period. Plan ahead in anticipation: buy something that celebrates your sensuality, plan a surprise for your lover, or organise a rendezvous.
Be mutually satisfied
Some research indicates that the more enjoyable the sex, the better the chances of conception. For women, the uterine contractions that come with climaxing can encourage those baby-making swimmers in the right direction.
Focus on each other's sexual needs rather than on the need to have a baby. And don’t worry about having to muster up the energy for swinging-off-the-ceiling-style sex: the missionary and ‘doggy style’ positions allow good penetration close to the cervix, and lazing about for a while afterwards can aid conception.