Mum shares heartbreaking moment she holds son who was stillborn at 32 weeks
This is deeply moving
By Practical Parenting team
November 17 2018
A young Aussie mum has spoken of her pain at giving birth to her stillborn son, Kayen, at 32 weeks.
Kristy Watson, 20, posted a photo of the moment she held her son for the first time after he was born in a moving Facebook post.
Kristy says she was overjoyed when she became pregnant as a single mum with a ‘miracle baby’ after experiencing three miscarriages.
But Kristy struggled during her pregnancy with crippling headaches and kept returning to the hospital because she felt so unwell.
Kristy was suffering from severe pre-eclampsia.
Her kidneys were failing, her blood pressure was dangerously high, her vision was blurred and she was experiencing excruciating headaches. ‘My body was fighting so hard for too long to keep my boy alive that it took his life in order to keep mine,’ she wrote on Facebook.
She says she told doctors she knew there was something wrong, as a friend of hers had suffered with pre-eclampsia during her pregnancy and she knew the symptoms, but each time the doctors said she was ‘normal’ and was sent home.
Eventually when she was 32 weeks and five days into her pregnancy, Kristy was given the heartbreaking news that Kaycen had no heartbeat.
‘No words you ever want to hear,’ wrote Kristy. ‘No words you ever imagine hearing so far into your pregnancy. ‘I had already lost my son before he got [the] chance to see the light of day.’ Labour was induced and after twelve hours, Kristy was handed her stillborn son to hold.
Now, Kristy is urging other mums-to-be who instinctively feel that something is wrong during their pregnancy to speak up to doctors.
She admits she felt ‘stupid’ going to the doctor three days before she was told her son had died in the womb to complain about her symptoms.
And although Kristy doesn't want to blame the hospital or the medical staff, she is determined her story can help others in a similar position.
‘If only they had done a ultrasound that day to see that my placenta was failing, if only they had done my bloods to see how toxic my bloods really were at that stage,’ wrote Kristy. ‘It may not, it may not had changed the outcome of what happen but the thing is I will never ever know.
‘I don’t want to play the blame game but to be so neglected and feel like I wasn’t listened to by people who I put in the hands of the life I was creating and to be let down as much as I was is not something I would wish on my worst enemy.'
‘I had to go from having my whole life line, my world move around and be healthy in my belly to then be induced to deliver my sleeping baby. ‘I lost my gorgeous little boy due to the system letting me down and not listening to me when I knew something was wrong.'
‘I want people to know my story so they know when there gut is telling them that something is not right to fight for answers, to travel back and forth until they know what is going on, to make sure they are listened to because I now have to go home to a nursery full of everything I needed to raise my little boy now to a empty cot that my son never got to lay in, to books I never got to read him, to his favourite outfit I never got to dress him in all because I was not heard.'
‘Please listen to your bodies. These little lives we create inside our wonderful bodies rely on us, we have to look after ourselves just as much and I couldn’t imagine any other mother having to feel like they failed their child like I’ve had to. ‘I know my little Kaycen will live on through me and everyone’s hearts he touched.’
Kristy’s Facebook post has been flooded with messages of support as she now struggles to come to terms with life without Kaycen.
What is pre-eclampsia?
Pre-eclampsia is an extremely serious condition that usually occurs in the late second trimester or in the third trimester.
About five to ten percent of pregnant women will develop pre-eclampsia and all pregnant women should know the signs and symptoms.
Early signs include having high blood pressure and protein in your urine.
Other symptoms include swelling of the feet, ankles, face and hands, severe headaches, vision problems, and pain just below the ribs.
The condition can lead to serious complications for the mother and her child without treatment. The exact cause of the condition isn’t known, but it’s thought to occur when there’s a problem with the placenta. Risk factors for pre-eclampsia involve having diabetes, high blood pressure, or kidney disease before starting a pregnancy, being over 40 years old, expecting twins or triplets, and having developed the condition during a previous pregnancy.
If you think you are experiencing any of the above symptoms, see your doctor or health care practitioner as soon as possible.