‘My husband does plenty of invisible work too’

It’s just taken a while to notice, this mum admits

October 02 2018

We’ve heard a lot of discussion in the past few years about the ‘invisible work’ mums do, and how hard it is to bear the ‘mental load’ in the family.

While this may be true, it’s also true that men do a lot of work that goes unnoticed as well, says Chaunie Brusie, a writer for Babble.com

“It’s absurd how much I juggle many days and yes, it is draining and exhausting in ways that are even more frustrating because they aren’t visible,” Chaunie says.

“But I’m also a little teensy bit sick of complaining about my mental load and how much I juggle and how the world would be so much better if men took on the task of remembering to buy toilet paper and schedule the doctor’s appointments and keep track of which kid needs new clothes.

“The truth is, my husband has his own ‘invisible’ workload that he carries and that I, frankly, don’t think too much about,” she adds.

The reason she doesn’t notice it so much, Chaunie says, is because it frequently doesn’t involve the children.

“He alone takes care of things like mowing the lawn, literally every home repair, changing the oil in the cars, rescuing me when I get a flat tire, killing gross spiders, talking to delivery men because I am (again) bra-less and hiding in the kitchen,” she admits.

“And if we are going to move forward as millennials in marriage, I think it’s high time I get off my high horse and start looking at what we are accomplishing as a team instead of complaining about who has it worse.

“Our workloads may look totally different, but when it comes right down to it, I think I’m OK with remembering when we’re out of toothpaste if he will fix our broken back door.”

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