Husband wants to leave wife when she changes her mind about having kids post-miscarriage
By Practical Parenting team
January 25 2019
There are a few things that are non-negotiable in a relationship, and the biggest one of all is whether to have children or not.
One heartbroken woman decided not to try to fall pregnant again after a devastating miscarriage. The problem is, her husband desperately wants children.
Sharing his story on Reddit, the man explained that their eight-year relationship has been very strained after his wife miscarried and suffered deeply from grief. Years later, she still doesn’t want to try for more children.
"It's been almost two-and-a-half years since the miscarriage and she still maintains that she doesn't want kids," he wrote.
"I have suggested surrogacy and adoption, thinking she is just afraid of having another miscarriage as she said that's the worst pain she's ever gone through."
"I still deeply love my wife, but I have always wanted to be a dad. Would I be the asshole for splitting with my wife after she changed her mind about having kids?" he asked.
Many people empathised with both the man and his wife.
“Nah. She doesn’t want to have kids and that’s perfectly valid. You want to have kids and that’s also perfectly valid. Unfortunately your wishes on the matter are no longer compatible. Shitty situation, but no one is an asshole here,” wrote one.
“You either want kids, or you don’t. There doesn’t tend to be much middle ground on the issue. If you’re incompatible on the issue, there’s nothing wrong with going your separate ways, and both living the lives you want,” added another.
Not everyone sided with the man, however, with some urging him to try counselling, and not to be too quick to jump ship. Others thought his loyality should be with his wife, first and foremost.
“If you decide to leave your wife, she will see it as choosing her, a very real, alive, suffering human being, for the promise of someone who doesn’t even exist yet.”
What do you think?